My heart is sad and I admit that this is one of the hardest things for me to write because it brings me to reality, but I have hope and peace because the Lord is good. He is faithful and will continually walk with us through all trials of life. The fact is, our case has been terminated. The government made the decision to send William back home to live with his grandmother and dad. God blessed me with the opportunity to visit William and meet his family. I will never forget his big smile as he rode up on his bike. I would like to say that things were perfect and normal like before but they weren’t. William is a teenager now and he also puts up a guard and has a “special” attitude with me:) We were able to go to a mall and eat dinner together which enabled me to really be able to talk to him. I knew that this may be the only time that I have to really talk to William about what happened and how much we love him. I let him know that we love him and never wanted this to happen. We want him to be ours and to live with us but obviously God has other plans, greater plans for his life. It was hard for me to say this but God was able to use me to really encourage and speak truth into William’s life. I let him know that the Lord enabled us to show him love and that now it is his turn to share that with his family. I told him that we are always praying for him and that we want to be a part of his life if he wants that. He said he did. I reminded him that NO MATTER what he IS my brother and he IS the son of Charlie and Susan. Though he may not be by blood, he is a part of our lives forever and cannot be taken away.
When we returned to William’s house to drop him off, William's grandmother told me that she did not want him to come back and live in the home because the lifestyle of William’s dad. She also told me that William is suffering because he is not with us. This hurt to hear. She did give my parents’ permission to come and visit. And hopefully the dad will let him come and stay with us some when we are in Nicaragua.
I am daily reminded though that God never promised us William just like He has never promised any parent their kids. Ultimately each child belongs to Him, but for a time period He has chosen us to be stewards over these kids. And because of this I have Hope. Through years of prayer, Christ placed William in our life for a time being so that we could show him the hope and love of Christ. The love and compassion of a family and a father. I wish I could remind William of this every day but I have confidence that the Lord will do this in our absence. I reminded him that we WANT him and WANT him to be with us every day. How can I ever express to him how much I love him, my little brother? I now had to explain that God has other plans for his life; God has better plans for Him. I told him that he knows the truth and love of Christ and the Lord wants to use him to share this with his own family and lead them out of their life of hopelessness.
For years, I’ve always seen William as a Moses. A little boy with a speech impediment but also a leader that attracted many people to him. Now I see why I always had this image; Christ had great plans for his life. I pray he will be used like Moses to lead his people, his family out of bondage. I have hope and faith that the Lord IS good and IS at work in the life of William and my family. I will not be discouraged by the lies of Satan but will remember that everything happens for a reason.
Here is part of a song that the Lord provided me before I left for Nica and once again when I got back. If you don't know the whole song, I encourage you to check it out.
Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman
"Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name"
He is FAITHFUL and my STRONGHOLD :)
5 comments:
You my dear are an inspiration and truly possess an understanding of the Kingdom of God. My prayers are with you and your family. I cannot imagine how difficult the situation must be, but your surrendered heart in the midst of it is truly amazing. How pleased God must be. =)
Well written. I'm glad you're so positive and trusting the Lord's decision. I know this has been a long time coming, and isn't easy. Love and blessing for you all!
I know your hearts hurt by the termination of the case. And you spoke truth, God surly has a plan and a purpose greater than we can imagine for William. He promised that to us, His children. And one day we will stand next to our Lord along with William and He will look William in the eyes and say,"well done, my son." And to know that you and your parents have been a direct influence in his "role" while he is here. Alyson, your heart is precious and you are a great inspiration to us all as you share His Word and His Heart. And one day, when we gather in His Kingdom together, well....I can't imagine. I love you.
Alyson...you are an inspiration to all! Your ability to put "the God perspective" on this situation is so completely powerful. And while it must be very tough for you and your family, you are right...God has a plan...a wonderful plan in it all. You are blessed in your ability to see through the facid of darkness and into His light. Stay strong and continue to do His work of restoring His Kingdom here on earth. I am blessed to know you and to have a glimpse of your wisdom. We love you.
thanks for sharing your heart.
praying.
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